15 Reasons Couples Go to Therapy

by | Nov 30, 2019 | Uncategorized

There are many reasons couples go to therapy. Sometimes it’s to deal with something in the past, to deal with something presently going on, or to prepare for the future.

Whatever reason you and your spouse have to go to therapy, just know it is a huge step in showing that you care about the relationship and your family.

Couples often seek therapy when they experience:

1. Difficulties communicating

Some couples just have a hard time communicating. They may have been raised in families with different communication styles, or there may be negative communication habits that have formed in their relationship, making it difficult for them to effectively communicate.

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2. Not talking

When communication gets tough, some couples resort to not talking. Without communication, couples can’t work through the important things they need to like parenting, budgeting, being affectionate, etc.

3. Addiction: Drugs, alcohol, porn, Etc.

Use of harmful substances can interfere with a couple or family. It is often difficult for the user to admit or recognize how the use of that substance is hurting their family. That user could be a parent, both parents, or even a child. Many couples need help finding ways to strengthen their family ties and learn how to eliminate the use of substances that negatively impact their marriage or family.

4. Trouble with the Kids

Let’s face it, parenting is hard. Really hard. Every child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. There may even be a child, or children, in your family who are getting involved with a dangerous crowd, substance, or habits. Counseling helps parents learn ways to work with their child to improve their relationship and new parenting skills.

5. Lack of trust

When someone loses your trust, it can be hard to trust them again. Even if the trust breaking experience happened long ago, marriage counseling can help. In marriage counseling, many couples come to understand what is hurting each other and ways they can create the healthy patterns to not hurt each other and gain trust back.

6. Just need someone to talk to

Life in general is difficult, and many just need someone to talk to. A therapist is well trained in listening and helping people work through their thoughts, feelings, emotions, or situations.

How do you know if you’ve got a good counselor? Read “5 Signs of a Good Marriage Counselor”

7. Want to know ways you can improve

No one is perfect. That’s just the way it is. Everyone has something they can improve. Many couples go to marriage counseling to stop issues from getting bigger, learn good communication skills, learn how to create a fulfilling relationship, and prevent themselves from creating unhealthy patterns in their relationship.

8. Big changes are about to come

Big adjustments in the family can come with a lot of hardship. Even when they are exciting changes like starting a family, having more kids, buying a home, getting a new job, moving, or entering new stages of life. Many couples like to prepare for those big changes and know how to successfully work through them.

9. No longer feel that “spark” of a loving connection

Every couple goes through the times that they feel they are growing further and further apart. Sometimes, they grow further apart than they ever have, and they wonder if their marriage will ever work out. Counseling helps couples find ways to grow closer and regain that connection that led them to marriage.

10. Trauma

Many people go through traumatic experiences like death, abuse, violence, car accidents, illness, natural disasters, serious injuries, and more. The trauma from those incidents, whether they happened before or during your marriage, may have significant, even unforeseen effects on your marriage and everyday coping abilities.

11. Loss of child

The loss of a child is labeled the hardest thing a couple can go through. Still, it is absolutely possible to have a stronger marriage afterwards. Therapy helps couples learn ways to cope with, understand, and work through the pain, loss, or guilt they feel so they can get back on their feet and keep going.

12. Withholding love, attention, or sex as a punishment

When one is hurt, sometimes the way they deal with it is to withhold important things like love, communication, attention or sex from their spouse to punish them. This causes many challenges far beyond the hurt each spouse is already feeling. Therapy helps couples find methods of expressing their pain in ways that don’t bring additional hurt feelings into a relationship.

13. Incompatible sex drives

This is a very common problem that couples face. In every relationship, even if their sex drive is similar, there is one who wants sex more often and one who wants it less often. The range of sex drives vary. Therapy helps couples to face and improve the challenges that led them to frustratingly incompatible sex drives and learn how to improve their relationship and the compatibility of their sex drives.

Is therapy what everyone says it is? Read here to understand the “Top 6 Myths of Therapy”

14. Depression/Anxiety

When one spouse (or both) is suffering with depression or anxiety, they go through moments like they’ve never before experienced. Many people don’t yet know how to help their spouse or themselves. There are unforeseen difficulties that come with it. Learning how to get through each day helps couples to grow closer as they work through these seemingly impossible feelings.

15. Ready for divorce, but there may still be a chance

When couples hit this point, many still want to help their marriage. They want to help their marriage because they love their children and want to protect their family, from the difficulties and pain of divorce. They often want to try to keep together what they’ve created together.

These are just 15 reason why couples often go to therapy. There are still many more. Couples who decide to go to therapy are making a positive step towards strengthening themselves, their relationship, and family.

All couples go through difficulties in their marriage. Many issues a couple may be able to work through on their own. However, those issues can be worked through faster and more effectively with the help of therapy. The therapists at Cache Valley Counseling are devoted to help you and your spouse recognize the patterns that have been created in your relationship and how to alter those patterns to create a happier, healthier relationship.

Click below to learn more about a Discovery Visit. It is a free opportunity for you and your spouse,
or just you, to meet with a therapist and see if they are the right fit for you.

Schedule a Discovery Visit