Never stop dating
Just because you are married, whether it be 1 year or 50 years, couples need time to spend with just each other. The every day tasks of life can bog us down individually and as a couple. Set a regular date night. If you aren’t sure how to go on dates – google it. There are lots of creative things you can do with your spouse, other than a dinner and movie. It’s important couples have a way to relieve stress together and get to enjoy time just with the two of you.
Show appreciation
Let him be your hero and when he is, say thank you! Often we expect things from our spouse, take out the trash, change the oil, mow the lawn, etc. and it’s expected. Just because it’s expected doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t be appreciated for the efforts he took in doing it. Chances are he didn’t do it because he enjoys mowing the lawn, but that he enjoys making you happy or easing your burden. Be sure to tell him thank you. Even leaving a thank you note can be wildly effective. It takes less than 10 seconds to leave a note. DO IT! And when you are really grateful, throw your arms around him and show him that you love him.
Fill your own tank
Before we can take in love from another person, we have to first love ourselves.
Before we can GIVE love to another person, we have to have something in our tank to give.
Find what makes you happy and make it happen. Do the things that make life enjoyable for you and share them with your spouse. The happier you are, the more enjoyable your time with your spouse is and you can’t depend on your spouse to make you happy all the time.
Increase oxytocin flow
It’s important to enjoy intimacy with your husband. Physical touch and intimacy is one of the most powerful bonding agents. When we are involved sexually with our husband the hormone, oxytocin is flowing through us. Oxytocin is the “cuddle hormone” or the “bonding hormone” it’s what tells our brains that we are connected to someone, that we belong to someone. Be sure that this is happening frequently in your relationship.
Tell him what you need
As much as we wish it was possible – men can’t read our minds. When you tell your husband exactly what you need, if you are open about your worries, if you problem solve together, then your husband can be your “fixer”. He can show up for you in exactly the way that you need him to, which takes a whole lot of guessing out of the game for everyone. When he shows up, be sure to show him that appreciation he deserves.