Everyone has personal values. Everyone has rules, guidelines, or beliefs that lead their life. Some values come from how one was raised, their religion, schooling, or friends. But, even amidst those influences, the values you have are yours.

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Companies also have values. At McDonald’s, their core values include responsible leadership, inclusiveness, local integration, and progressiveness. Nike’s core values are performance, authenticity, innovation, and sustainability. The core values of Starbucks are to be welcoming, courageous, present, transparent, accountable, and provide quality performance.

Their core values are the base of what they do, meaning that every decision they make is made with the question, ‘does this match my values?’ That is one of the ways a company is honest to who they are and gains trust with those around them; by sticking to what they believe.

You, as a person, are obviously not a business, but the same principle of core values applies in your personal life and with your marriage and family.

THE STORY OF STICKING TO YOUR VALUES IN EVERY WAY

There was a big name company looking for a new employee. By the last round of the interview process, only a few applicants remained of the crowd that applied. Through the interview, the company asked the final applicants about their values and honesty and integrity. Each applicant quickly expressed how much they value honesty and integrity.

The applicant was then hired based on one question:

The interviewee was told, “We think you’re a really great fit for the company, we are hoping to offer you the position, but first I need to make sure you’re right for us.”

The company further explained, “You know we’re a big company and there’s a lot going on here. There are some items we receive and send out that we do not put on our reports. Part of your position would require you to come in and oversee the arrival and shipment of those items. Those shipments are not to be mentioned to anyone else. If you would be willing to do that, we will increase your salary by $10,000. Are you willing to do that?”

The first interviewee, excited about the extra cash, replied, “yeah that won’t be a problem!” They told them they’d call him back, after making their final decision on who to hire. He wasn’t hired.

The second interviewee was more hesitant about the seemingly illegal operation. The company acted like it was normal to keep items from their reports. He told them he needed to think it over.

By the next morning, he’d come to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t that bad since it’s a big company and they know what they’re doing. After telling the company he’d be willing to do it, they told them they’d call him back, after making their final decision on who to hire. He wasn’t hired.

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The third interviewee, when asked, was so confused. He’d thought this company was an honest company and wasn’t sure what to think after hearing about the inside jobs they do and were expecting him to do. He really needed a job though.

He asked if he could talk to his wife about it and sleep on it first. Throughout his long, sleepless night, he tossed and turned between his need of a job and his desire to always be honest. He didn’t think it would be honest to do what the company was asking him.

After a long, sleepless night, he decided his honesty was most important and he could find a job elsewhere even if it didn’t pay as much. He turned down the offer.

Trying harder, the company told him, they really needed him, and offered to double his bonus if he’d do it. “I’m sorry, I just, I won’t do it,” was his reply. “So, you’re turning down our offer?” the company asked. “Yes, yes I am.”

“Well,” replied the company, “it is important that we tell you, we don’t have any hidden inside jobs like the one we told you about. In reality, we are looking for someone who values honesty and will remain honest even when big money is offered to them. We can see that you are someone whose actions are consistent with their values and we’d like to hire you.”

DOES EVERYONE LIVE THEIR VALUES THE SAME WAY?

Everyone lives up to their values in different ways. Some, like the first interviewee, will say their values are one thing but their actions say otherwise. Others, like the second interviewee, will compromise their values in certain situations.

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When a person sticks to their values, and their actions are consistent with their words, others have more trust in that person, who they say they are, and what they do.

The third interviewee is one who really does what they value most. When thoughts, words, and actions are in line with core values one gains peace of mind.

DETERMINING YOUR CORE VALUES

A person’s values are what they personally believe is right. Common values recognized are, honesty, respect, kindness, consideration, being on time, growth, freedom, perseverance, open-mindedness, balance, humor, stability, risk-taking.

One of the first steps of sticking to your values, is knowing what your values are. For some, it is hard to recognize what their core values are. To know how you can better recognize and define your core values, follow these steps:

  1. Take a moment to reflect and answer these questions for yourself, with your spouse, or as a family:

    ·   What values are important to you?

    ·   Who is someone you admire? What do you admire about them?

    ·   What is a meaningful moment in your life? What values were you living at that time?

    ·   Think of a time you were frustrated or mad? What value wasn’t being fulfilled at that time?

  2. Now that you have a list of core values, divvy up the values you’ve listed into five or less similar themes. For example, humor, optimism, and happiness are all similar. acceptance, open-mindedness, and kindness may fit together as well. Split them up in a way that makes the most sense to you.

  3. From each of the groups, choose one word to represent that list. This will leave you with 5 or less words to define your values.

Now that you’ve determined what you value the most, write those values down. The steps you’ve gone through will help you live according to your values. When conflicted or wondering what to do, you can simply ask yourself, “Would doing this honor my value of being….”

Do you have questions about personal values?
Do want help determining your values and understanding how to live up to them?
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