Written by Heather Ballingham ACMHC
We have all been told to “remember what you are grateful for” or perhaps have been told of the amazing benefits of practicing gratitude and having a gratitude journal. You may be thinking, “Yeah, I have heard that before, but it didn’t work for me.” Stay with me on this, I have some tips and reasons why having a gratitude journal works and you can see results from keeping one.
I have recently noticed a trend with gratitude journals, almost as if it is in style and all the cool kids are doing it – and hey – If the cool kids are doing it then it must be a good idea. I have personally known the importance of having a gratitude journal in my own life. It has brought me peace and helped me when I felt there was nothing to be happy about, because I could always find something to be grateful for.
Gratitude was so important to me that years ago, I began asking my children three questions each night: What was the best part of your day? What did you learn today? What are you grateful for today? They would at times roll their eyes. I would remind them each day there is something to be grateful for, regardless of the day. I have definitely received some snarky comments from them such as “I am grateful the day is over”, or “I am grateful when my mom is not asking me questions”. However, it typically opens discussion and ends the day on a positive to remember what we are grateful and discuss it.
It may sometimes feel like we are all drowning in a never-ending pile of lists of things to do! If that is how you feel, committing to a gratitude journal each day is just another thing on the list, and it may seem overwhelming. I am here to tell you that having an effective gratitude practice can help you actually take the stress off, or at least mitigate it.
Here are some reasons why your gratitude journal may not be working for you:
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It has to be a consistent routine. Just like losing weight, you won’t see results if you can’t consistently keep up on your positive habits.
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You need to take the time to get deep – really think about it!
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Perhaps you’re being too broad in your thoughts – be specific!
Does your current journal look like this?
✔️I’m grateful for my (significant other)✔️I’m grateful I have a job✔️I’m grateful for my pets
Often it feels it is too obvious for you to write these things down in a gratitude journal. Maybe even a little TOO obvious.
When I wrote those three things out, I just listed the top three things I used to list almost every day. And just like doing something every day like a chore, it takes the fun and the impact out of it.
Hear me out…
If you are just writing the first two or three ideas that come to mind of things to be grateful for, then you probably didn’t actually think about the fact that you are actually grateful them.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am sure you ARE thankful for them, overall. But is that really what you are actually grateful for that day or at that moment?
Forcing ourselves to dig deeper and be more specific about WHY we are grateful for seemingly “obvious” choices helps us to really open our eyes to see how lucky or blessed we are to have it.
TRY THIS INSTEAD!
The University of Southern California did a study that showed that when people wrote down more specific reasons why they’re grateful for something, they were happier! Who doesn’t want to be happier???
If your current list looks like the one above and you’re not feeling the awesome effects of gratitude journaling don’t worry. All you have to do is just get specific! It may take a few minutes but trust me, it is worth it.
Try this instead, here’s what you need to do to start a gratitude journal that actually works:
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Each day write ONE thing you’re grateful for at the top of your page
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List out 5 reasons why you’re grateful for it (specific)
I’LL GO FIRST
I’m grateful for my husband, DJ because:
1. He makes me laugh every day
2. He calls me out on my crap
3. He is an amazing Dad
4. He’s there with tough love when I’m feeling self-doubt
5. He is like Tim the Toolman, he can fix anything!
I feel so strongly about having a gratitude practice that I regularly use gratitude in my business and with my clients. If you desire and feel you need more happiness in your life, or feel depressed and anxious more than you would like, try this for a minimum of two weeks. You will soon be that person sharing this with everyone, because you will know it works and want others to have the same opportunity too.