Spencer Dutson, LAMFT, EFT and EMDR trained therapist
Imagine with me the day you stepped out of your therapist’s office for the last time. You and your therapist have agreed that it’s a good time to wrap up therapy because you are doing well and have accomplished the goals you had coming into it. Take a moment to remember the feelings of accomplishment, happiness, and maybe even relief to be where you were that day.
Now let’s come back to today. Recently, you haven’t been feeling as good as you did on that day. Perhaps you are noticing that all-to-familiar anxiety or depression creeping back into your life. Maybe you and your partner are fighting again and you’re feeling distant. It could be that past memories of difficult life events are surfacing. Or, you just feel off. Maybe new issues or traumas have occurred. Inevitably, the following thought may be crossing your mind:
“Maybe I should go back to therapy… maybe I need to see my therapist again.”
It is my hope that after reading this brief guide, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to address this thought in a way that makes sense for you!
Listen to the Thought
The thought, “maybe I should go back to see Spencer (or fill in the name of your therapist),” is your body’s wake up call! Listen to it. It may be that you are feeling a return of the old feelings you were able to work through in therapy or maybe something new has come up for you.
I cannot speak for all therapists, but I know that if any of my past clients have had this thought, I want them to know that I’m still here and available for them. By reaching out to me, it is my hope that they feel they can talk about what they’ve been experiencing and discuss whether it would be best to revisit therapy.
I also recommend that when this thought comes, you recommit to doing things that were helpful before, and try stopping bad habits that you’ve slid into. You may find that by listening to this thought and responding to it, you’ll be able to work through it on your own. If, however, you have been actively working through it on your own, and nothing seems to be working, please read on.
Give Space for Your Feelings
Despite our best efforts, we sometimes can’t do it all on our own. It’s devastating to be working and striving for better mental or relational health, just to feel like you are getting stuck in the same place(s) over and over again!
Your feelings are real. Giving space for whatever you are feeling is a first important step to getting better. I have found that when we are able to give space for our feelings and experiences, we can look at them with added compassion and importance instead of just trying to squash them or tell ourselves, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Your self-compassion will help you immensely as you make the journey back to therapy.
Get Accountable
The next key is to become accountable! Let friends and/or family know where you are at mentally or in your relationship and ask for help. Talk to them about your decision to go back to therapy–they can help you! They may even be able to be there for you when you schedule your appointment, or even schedule it for you if you need.
As I mentioned above, your past therapist could be that person you’re accountable to. Remember that in addition to their training, they care about you too and want to see you happy and healthy.
Remember You’ve Done This Before
Do you remember what it was like to go to that first therapy appointment? From most I’ve talked to, the feelings aren’t exactly positive (anxiety, fear of judgement, skepticism, or a slew of other things). What helped you to work through those feelings to choose to go? Take a moment to write all of those things down and at the end of that brief exercise add one more thing to the list:
”I’ve done this before, and I can do it again!”
Schedule the Appointment
The final thing to do now is to schedule the appointment. Here at Cache Valley Counseling, you can schedule your appointment with us by calling (435) 535-3169 or by submitting this form.
After you’ve made your appointment, sit back and take a deep breath! From here until your appointment, remember that you’ve done what you need to do to get your life and relationships back to where you want them to be!
We hope to see you again soon!