Trauma and otherwise negative occurrences often become stored memories in the brain. Our brain, in conjunction with our autonomic response systems, code these experiences and use them to protect us as we continue through the journey of life. It is through these life experiences that our brain and body create our window of tolerance.
When someone is within their window of tolerance, they are functioning well and are able to process stimuli (various events) as they occur. In times of extreme stress, there are two ways people respond in order to protect themselves: hyperarousal or hypoarousal.
Hyperarousal symptoms: sleeping problems, difficulty concentrating, irritability, anger and outbursts, panic, constant anxiety, self-destructive behavior (such as fast driving or drinking too much), heavy sense of shame, and being easily scared or startled. Flashbacks can also accompany these symptoms. Hyperarousal symptoms are meant to help the person become regulated again.
Hypoarousal symptoms: shutting down, emotional emptiness, numbness, even paralysis. Oftentimes, loved ones get a sense that they don’t care about much in life. Hypoarousal usually occurs when someone has been in a state of hyperarousal for so long that their body and mind are exhausted. The only way to continue functioning and dealing with the pain is to completely shut down.
Everyone’s window of tolerance is different. They are based on the experiences we have coupled with our response to those experiences. When many experiences have led a person to believe that people and life are dangerous, that tends to indicate a narrow window of tolerance. With that narrow window of tolerance, a person may feel that their emotions are rather intense or difficult to manage. Situations seem chaotic and out of control. It often takes longer for someone with a narrow window of tolerance to regain regulation and function.
Someone with a narrow window of tolerance may perceive danger more readily and react to real and imagined threats. The wider someone’s window of tolerance is, the more they can manage intense emotions, the less impacted their functioning is, and the quicker they can return to a regulated emotional state.
Does it feel like your window of tolerance is narrower than you’d like it to be? There is hope! With diligence, practice, and patience, one can widen their window of tolerance. Therapy is a helpful way to increase your window. Through mindfulness practices, learning to self-soothe, expanding your ability to stay present, practicing appropriate responses to the stimuli, and continually working to overcome the perception of threat in your life, anyone can expand their window of tolerance.